Longing
by The Doe Eyed Girl
Summary: Sequel to akuya watches his sister become the perfectly cold and distanced Kuchiki, like he idolised her en why does it feel like he misses the imperfections brought by a certain orange headed kozo in his sister?


**A special thanks to all those who reviewed "Hope" ! Arigatou :D**

**This one isn't that good though :l**

"Ni-sama?"

I turned my face sideways to greet the source of the sudden intrusion. There she stood, at a good distance of two feet from me, her doe eyes emanating respect for me in all their violet glory.

Even though they no longer shone with the _same_ vigour.

I blinked once at her. Taking my silence as an approval, she went on.

"Ni-sama, did you send for me?"

"Yes. I wish for you to spare your time and keep my presence your company for a while."

Her large violet orbs blinked back at me, part surprise coursing through them. But of course, having perfected the Kuchiki façade, she quickly resumed her guarded stance and slightly bowed before me.

"Hai, Ni-sama" In a quick _yet_ dignified manner she moved closer and stood right beside me.

I resumed staring back at the full moon in the _dark_ sky. The light pink petals of the sakura tree softly rustled in the cool breeze of the night. The soft radiance of the moon bathed the Seritei with it's cool aura, creating a tranquil atmosphere of serenity.

"Rukia." I paused momentarily, mentally rephrasing the questions I had earlier proposed to ask her, in a manner as _nonchalant_ as possible.

"How is the work in your division going?"

Her almost empty eyes lit up ever so slightly; she was obviously surprised, and I suspect I saw a small tinge of gladness as well.

_After so long,even if it was just a tinge._

"Everything is going perfectly,the division has been functioning as smoothly as ever."

"I have heard from Captain Ukitake that you have been working excessively hard over the past few months." This time, I directly looked at her. "Is it true that you have been over-exerting yourself?"

This time I received a straight answer, without her even skipping a beat. "I am sorry Ni-sama, that you have _had_ to hear reports which caused you concern. I perfectly assure you that I have not over-exerted myself to an _extent_ where it may become a cause of concern" she finished, her emotionless face looking back at me in the eye.

It was at times like _this_ that I wished Rukia had _not_ inherited the Kuchiki mask from me.

"I see. Please explain the cause of your dull complexion and shriveled frame, then."

She stared back at me, the façade firmly in place. "I assure you Ni-sama, it is nothing for you to be worried about. My appearance may appear slightly undignified owing to the fact that I have been training hard to sharpen my combat skills"

"Apparently I have been made familiar with that information" I replied back, my gaze returning back to the sky.

All that she did nowadays was train, paperwork and kido practice. Even food and sleep had become a scarce and downright unimportant priority for her. Her eyes had lost their liveliness and sparkle. It was as if she had been reduced to a shadow of her former self.

And to think that all these sacrifices were being made in order to forget a _certain_ orange- headed _kozo_.

I always knew that boy meant trouble.

"Rukia, may I know the reason as to _why_ you have forbidden yourself from sparing any relaxation time or enjoying the beauty of the night sky?"

She shifted her eyes from me to the wooden floor.

"I do not feel the need to do so"

"Is there some matter that is a bother to you, Rukia?"

There came up the mask, _yet again_. She stared straight ahead of her, eyes as cold and hard as me. "No."

Enough of beating around the bush. It was time to make the point.

"Rukia, have you been to the world of the living since the day you bade farewell to your _comrades_ there?"

Now I saw it.

She visibly stiffened beside me.

She hadn't been expecting a direct confrontation. So much for my reputation.

I studied her slowly as her violet irises contorted a little before they put up that icy glass. "No, Ni-sama."

"May I know the reason?" Of course, It wasn't a question. It was an order.

Her gaze sank lower, till I could no longer see those dark lavender eyes which were being shadowed by those raven black bangs,the slight clenching of her tiny fists not escaping my eyes.

She opened her mouth to say something, but then abruptly shut it. This happened thrice ( not that I was counting ) before words finally came back to her.

"I didn't have the time."

"You can always excuse yourself for a day"

"There was a lot of paperwork to do" If I hadn't known better, I'd say the several octaves drop in her voice was giving away her Kuchiki façade.

"You could have requested. Captain Ukitake wouldn't have refused you"

"I didn't want to burden him with excessive work on my part"

"You could have asked me to send a substitute officer to fill in for you."

That's when I got the answer I had been waiting for.

"I didn't want to go" it barely sufficed for a whisper. Her eyes were still hidden from my scrutiny.

"May I know the reason?" Again, we both knew it wasn't a request.

There was a silence. A very _heavy_ silence.I could tell that she was contemplating telling me the truth.

"It would have been meaningless, Ni-sama."

And then she looked up at the moon.

And that's when I felt an emotion I had sworn I would never _ever_ feel for her; _Pity_.

An emotion, I'd hoped, that I'd be able to ensure she'd never _ever _incite from anyone by providing her with _everything_ in life.

Her alluring violet orbs, akin to my late wife Hisana's, looked up at the moon.

They looked defeated.

They looked like they were wallowing in self-pity.

They looked desperate.

They looked grieving.

They contained that _every_ emotion I had promised Hisana that I'd protect Rukia, _her sister_, from.

A promise I had been unable to keep due to the boy who changed Rukia's world.

The world was going to be relieved of one orange headed Kurosaki, sooner or later. I'd _personally_ make sure of that.

Even though I knew that losing his powers hadn't really been an option for Kurosaki.

And for a moment there I thought that if _this; this_ is what Rukia really was behind that nonchalant and _cold _exterior, then I'd rather see her with that Kuchiki mask.

"It would be wrong and meaningless for me to venture back into a world where I am not needed anymore" she spoke softly, her voice strained and low. "_He _ can no longer see me. _He _misses his powers; if I were to go back, it would just be a painful reminder of his lost ability to protect everyone."

She closed her eyes, as a harsh and very unlike her chuckle escaped those dry, pale lips. Though I noticed the moisture glistening in those orbs.

"I am dead and I belong to the Soul Society."

_Sorrow._

"Karakura town has it's own shinigami, so I am not needed."

_Bitterness._

"_They _are alive and they belong to the world of the living."

_Acceptance._

"We have nothing in common"

_Pain._

I felt a tug at my heart.

Was that Kurosaki boy _this_ precious to Rukia?

I looked back at her.

Her eyes had dropped all shields to expose their vulnerability.

There was _despair_, _longing_, _angst_….

…..and _regret._

I closed my eyes, Hisana's image, essence and caricature suddenly numbing my senses.

"_Hisana,_ I can protect her from the _rain_ with _shelter;_ I can protect her from _starvation_ with _food_; I can protect her from disappointments with _wealth_ and _power_; I can protect her from _death _with my _life…._"

"…..but how do I protect her from _love _?"

I swear I heard her soft laughter float in the air.


End file.
